I finally visited one of my many Scottish dream destinations. And this time around, I visited the place which was on top of my list- the Isle of Skye. This August, I went of and experienced the most exhilarating landscape of my lifetime. I have been saving-up for this trip since I started studying here. It was supposedly planned last June/July 2017, but gladly it didn’t push thru because I wouldn’t have spent this trip with anyone else than the person I was with this year. Better memories, all the laughs and crazy photos, trollin’ in every stop. It was a last minute plan before I underwent the “cuts and needles”. And this choice being soo dreamy made me realise life is fantastic, to a fault- that every desaturated tones of grey skies are warm hues of lichens and flora; that in each step taken in the green wonderland are blue’s revealed by the ebb of the tide. They’d say this can be experienced somewhere nearer my homeland (New zealand being a close competitor). But I’d say nothing beats The Scottish Highlands. And i’m saying this with the landscape richness that I saw as I experienced the travel to and fro. This place was definitely surreal. Immersing in this landscape- BREATHTAKING.
Also, thank you Hairy Coo for such a wonderful tour with our guide and driver, Scott. The banter was spectacular, did not put me to sleep. And the musical “score” was superb. His taste in music, definitely wonderful and apt. But again, the review to follow (but not in my blog). I do hope I can bring more people in this wonderland. But right now, I’m bringing home all the memories there is. You just join the crowd daily.
Basically, month long. [but without The Fringe, we’d be bored too. So yay!] and I am speechless in a blog. Messy to totally messy.
After several years of hiding the pain and keeping yourself quiet... of years spent in stopping the universe to destroy images of people you actually care for in spite of the hurt they gave... of moments that went messy in a sec... You know how it all went uncontrollable and you just learn not to stop it? That you should have not been led to selfishness in real life even if they wanted you to... that in that instance they did change you... but also, you know that you are learning... and that learning brings you to LETTING GO. You let go of the hate that developed in everyone who saw the lies when you were away. You let go of the need to follow someone’s request to keep things calm because you honestly can’t, that you are asked to think it was you who made the universe a place with so many spies when it wasn’t even in your control. You simply let go of the bad notions that people around you want to hurt you by keeping tags on the lies, rather that they care. And care a lot about you. You also let go of this reality that they impose on everyone- that love is selfish. That love is blind. That love chooses to hurt and that love in His eyes is this. and i refuse to believe that. Because it is not your life, this is not the love I know, and the love that hurts is not the love that will permeate the world I am in. Also, that the stories I hear about me from their end is a crazy plottwist to the mistakes they’ve done. That logic puts me in a state where I totally did nothing. It was not your decision, it was theirs. And in the end, they control their own life. Their own universe. And I refuse to be part of that. I take control of my healing. That the stress that came from this actually made me engage in the bigger mistake of my life- WHICH i was praying for everyday since 2016- that of which entails the struggle of a larger group of people dear to me... those people who actually care about me. The mistake of being the biggest concern of the season for a few years now since 2017 when I went sick... when the people who actually care could have just thought about their lives, but then I exist and they care and they send in prayers and concerns if I am ok and right now, if the procedure went well as planned. And when your parents actually sends in your sister to make sure you’re at peace in this greatest ordeal that emerged after that crazy big lie you ever lived with for several years. “I will stop caring for the feelings of people who hurt me because NOT BEING OK and keeping SILENT actually affects MY HEALTH, and the FEELINGS OF THOSE WHO LOVE ME MORE.’ Biggest learning. If your body disintegrates because of sh**load. Let go. Let go of people who know what you are undertaking and just choose not to care. At all. No more lies. No more hate. And this is the love I know and pray for everyday. Also, we must all enjoy the daily’s. Because everyday is crucial. Everyday is a new day. And we do not know what may happen the next day. And just love. Let go of those who do not know what it is to love. That love is the biggest sacrifice. That love does not hurt. And when it does, it is not love. And I am relearning it now... the love I know. The love that cares for myself... the love that calms the soul of me and my ohana. The love that heals. ...I am also learning to love those who love me, too. .. and this part of the process is “Hakuna Matata” in a different light, with a better me... with a better us. -C |
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Lifeisatravelogue by CDSNadal is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivatives 4.0 International License. |